Cindy

Cindy Found “A Way Out”

My name is Cindy and I have a twelve year old daughter and a five year old daughter. I was born in Corinth, Mississippi where as a child I was active in church and was a Girl Scout.

My family of origin was dysfunctional and unstable with my parents arguing and fighting a lot. Sometimes I would be afraid to get out of bed. When I was in the third grade we moved from Corinth to Memphis. It was just a couple of years later that my parents divorced.

When I was thirteen, I began experimenting with drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, and sex. I had a steady boyfriend and we went to concerts and parties where we partied hard with our other friends. In my search for my own identity, I tried it all. I was; “prep”, a “punk rocker” and a “metal head” and I could never seem to figure out where I fit.

When I turned eighteen, I moved out of my mother’s home and moved in with a guy, who I met to purchase a joint. I had known him for one whole day. He eventually introduced me to hard drugs. At this point, I didn’t stay high all the time, but I did my share of partying hard.

After living together for two years we got married and shortly thereafter moved to Florida. I started topless dancing in Florida to pay our bills until I got pregnant with my oldest daughter. By the time she was born, I had all I could take of the drugs and my husband. I wanted a better life for my daughter.

I moved back to Memphis and lived with my mother and filed for a divorce. This was a relatively good period for me as I didn’t do any drugs and I managed to get my GED and start college. My baby and I moved into our own apartment where we lived for two years and then I purchased my first home.

About three months after purchasing my home, I discovered that I was pregnant and my boyfriend moved in with me. I actually contemplated abortion, but somehow the Lord kept me from doing that. My boyfriend and I had job changes, my relationships and habits continued to change and I relapsed losing everything.

With basically just the clothes on my back, my children and I moved in with my mother. Shortly after moving in with her she took custody of my children. Between binges, I would try to get well. I prayed for God to take it away or let it take me. I didn’t have the guts to kill myself. I tried a couple of different long-term hospitalizations and out patient facilities, but within a few months after discharge I would end up using again. I would tell my mother I was going to an AA Meeting and go buy crack. I left my children frequently with my mother and I would stay gone for days and eventually months. I ultimately got into prostitution and I lost all hope for recovery. I was just wandering around, dead on my feet, mostly unconscious of the world around me. I really wanted to die!
I was arrested in Arkansas for drug paraphernalia. While I was incarcerated, my mother called Citizens for Community Values of Memphis and spoke with Carol Wiley, Director of the “A Way Out” Program. Carol came with my mother to the jail in West Memphis, AR and interviewed me to see if I was serious enough about my recovery to enter the AWO Program. This was the first time I had ever heard of this program, but I was ready to make some drastic changes in my life.

This decision didn’t come easy. It took my being arrested and getting so sick while in jail that I had to be moved to solitary confinement. While in solitary, I picked up the AA Blue Book and the Bible. It was here I began to pray and write letters to try and make amends with all of my family.

Carol deemed that I was a good candidate for “A Way Out” but that I also needed to be in a residential program. She referred me to a program that AWO partners with and I lived there for almost two years, working both programs. During this two year period, I have managed to get my life back on track.

“A Way Out” has provided me with a mentor, individual counseling with a professional counselor, parenting classes, financial management classes, Bible classes, and many other Biblically based recovery classes on boundaries, self-esteem, and other addiction related issues. I have truly matured and grown in faith in God and in myself.

AWO has met many practical needs for me and my children like clothes, groceries and gas. I have been given an automobile which was donated to me through AWO. I have not had to worry about anything, but working on my recovery and becoming a better mom.

As for being a better mom, I went through months of custody battles over my oldest daughter and finally God made provisions which enabled me to regain custody. CCV’s “A Way Out” Program made this possible by providing me the legal representation I needed to get my child back. They paid every dime. I now have full custody of both my children and I love spending time with them and being a mother. My family has been restored.

My mentor, counselor and Carol have been and are still being a blessing to me. That talks to me and offer godly advice, which wasn’t always what I wanted to hear, but they always have the right answers.

I graduated from the residential program in March of 2005 and moved into a house in May. Everything in my home was provided to me through the generosity of donors of both the programs. I am still active in the transitional phase of CCV’s “A Way Out” Program and attend weekly Growth Group with them and I am beginning to lead the group some of the time. AWO is still helping me financially on an as needed basis, giving me time to adjust to being on my own and to reach a salary level that will enable me to be totally independent. I am active in my church and I am still growing as a woman, a mother, an employee, and a citizen. I have seen God work miracles in my life, too many to mention.

I know I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for the love, support and acceptance that I received in CCV’s “A Way Out” Program. I thank God everyday for what He has done in my life and my children’s lives.

Marilyn

Marilyn Found “A Way Out”

Marilyn's career as an exotic dancer started in 1985 at the age of 18. Her visions of fame and success turned to disillusionment and desperation over time as she turned to alcohol and drugs to anesthetize her disappointment and to enable her to do what was required of her in the clubs.

Her life was in a downward spiral and she felt helpless to reverse the plunge. She had made attempts to leave dancing several times, but always went back because she believed that she had no other recourse to provide for her family. After several difficult relationships and the birth of her two children, a son, who is now 17 and a daughter, who is 13, Marilyn married in 1999. She made the decision to try the recovery process for her addictions and to begin to get her life in order.

Marilyn came to the "A Way Out" Program in January of 2003. Her resolve to work a recovery program was evident from the beginning and she was very resourceful in finding resources suited to her needs. She was graduated from CCV's "A Way Out Program" last month with a Certificate of Completion for finishing eighteen months in the program. While in the program she had to deal with some hard issues such as marriage problems, difficulties with her children, low self-esteem and bouts with depression. Amidst her problems she continued to persevere to complete a boundaries study, several Beth Moore Bible studies and to participate in processing groups and a 12-step study and a parenting class. CCV helped her get her fines paid and her driving license back and she is now gainfully employed.

On graduation night Marilyn said that being a part of the "A Way Out" Program had helped her know how to relate to her children better, to feel better about herself and most of all to know how to have a relationship with God. She is a precious lady who has learned to work hard, stand firm, and start a new life in Christ. Marilyn found "A Way Out" and traded dancing in the dark for living in the Light!!!!

Rita

Rita Found “A Way Out”

My name is Rita and I am twenty-four and I would like to share my story with you. I grew up in a family that I always thought was normal. I was twenty-three years old when I realized that they weren't. I was sexually abused as a child, with my earliest memory being age four. The abuse continued until I was eleven. I was made to adjust and I learned from my mom that sexual abuse was not a big deal. I carried that attitude with me for a long time.

I left home when I was seventeen and lived in programs like Job Corps and later shelters. I was doing drugs and therefore was unemployable. If I did get a job, I didn't keep it for long. I also lived with friends, boyfriends, and by the time I was twenty-one years old, I was pregnant.

At age twenty-two, I was a single mom and couldn't make it out on my own and now that I had a baby, it was really hard. I didn't want to be a mom and I sure didn't know how to be a mom. In fact I was an awful mother, I cared more about getting high and talking to guys.

My lifestyle was obvious to the pimps that lived in the Budget Suites Hotel where I was living after Abel was born. I now know different pimps and their hookers played on me to get me to choose a pimp by giving me many compliments, gifts, and anything I needed. The day I chose to be with a pimp, my son, Able, was five months old and he had to go to the hospital with pneumonia. My soon to be pimp went with me to the hospital, where he asked questions of the doctor about stuff I didn't know to ask.

The pimp's actions at the hospital seemed proof to me that he cared about me and my baby, so within a couple of days, with his encouragement, I got dressed, did a lot of speed and we drove to a street where a lot of hookers worked. I was really nervous and thought about how nothing was working right in my life. The pimp told me to get out of the car and call him when I turned my first date.

My first night I made $300.00, but it was the hardest night I would ever have, all the rest were somehow blocked out and not as difficult as that first night. I continued to be involved in prostitution for one more year. During this time, the abuse that my son and I went through was unreal. After one year, I was tired and considered all used up. My pimp had another "new" girl, so he began using my son to keep me with him. He would take Abel away from me for days, until he felt I acted right or until I made enough money. Sometimes he would take him away for no real reason, but to torture me.

The day I met Carol Wiley, I had experienced a really bad night and had been dropped off in Arkansas somewhere. I had to take a cab back to Memphis and because I only had $60.00 left my pimp would have nothing to do with me and wouldn't let me see my son. It was about 9:00 a.m. and I was standing by a pay phone outside a dry cleaners. A girl who worked there invited me in and offered me a drink of water. To my surprise she told me that she had been with a pimp for ten years and told me how she had been burned with an iron and other awful experiences she had experienced in the sex industry. As I listened, I thought I could easily waste my life and lose everything that I have in me to be a decent human being. Actually, this was the first time anyone had legitimately tried to help me. You see this girl was in CCV's A Way Out Program and knew Carol Wiley. She called Carol and asked her if she could come talk to me. Carol came right away and after talking with her, I wanted to leave with her right then, but my pimp had my son and I didn't want to leave without Abel. I went back to work and waited for him to bring Abel back, which he did three days later. This was my opportunity to leave so I called Carol and she came and got me and Abel and I have been with CCV every since February 19, 2002.

Carol helped place me in a long term Christian based residential program. I now love all the people in Moriah house, they are very special to me, but I didn't always feel this way. I had to reconstruct my life and let people tell me what to do and I had to deal with myself: I had to come off drugs: I couldn't have any male relationships; I had to learn to be a mother; I had to become responsible and accept structure; and I had to learn patience. All of this was very hard for me and one day after being a Moriah House for two weeks, I went to Mrs. Beverly's officer and said, "I'm leaving, tell Carol I couldn't do it." Mrs. Beverly asked where I was going and I told her I was going to catch a cab to find my pimp before he left the state. I know this sounds crazy, but I was in bondage to all that chaos. Mrs. Beverly told me a story about a frog. How if you have a frog in a pan full of water and slowly turn up the heat the frog will never jump out and will eventually die. But if you throw a frog into boiling water then it will jump out. I decided to stay.

I have consistent support from CCV and Moriah House, but there is no way I could made it without my Lord Jesus. He has carried me and released me from all that mess and chaos. He has saved me and He loves me. I have grown in the Lord through Bible studies and with the encouragement CCV has offered me. I am now in college studying graphic arts. My first semester my mentor got me a backpack full of school goodies and she helped me get registered. She took me to Bible study every Tuesday and to counseling on Wednesdays. My first semester in school was probably just as stressful for Carol as it was for me because she helped me write my papers and on short notice. This encouraging environment has grown me up. I will never be the same.

Paula

Paula Found “A Way Out”

My name is Paula. I worked in the topless night clubs for ten years of my life.

Ten years of misery and despair. I kept thinking that this is all I know how to do. I couldn’t possibly do any thing else. I began thinking…I’ll be in the club until I am fifty years old. Right then I started to pray and pray for six months. I began to feel this overwhelming feeling of being sorry for wasting all those years on foolishness and sin. I quit the club on June 15th, 1999 and never went back.

In May of this year I was at the library and on the way out at the library and on the way out, God said, pick up that Christian Banner Newspaper and I did. I opened it and read Carol Wiley’s article on page ten. “What Is Trauma? How Does It Affect One’s Life Choices?”

I ran to the McDonald’s pay phone to tell her how wonderful her article was and we talked for a while. She ended up treating me to lunch the next week. I started Bible Class that week and have enjoyed it so much. I’ve made life long friends there and I continue to read my Bible that “A Way Out” gave to me. I love God so much and Carol for truly helping me. If it weren’t for Carol I would not know God today.
I am so blessed.

My favorite scripture is Psalm 107: 14:15-16. “He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men. For he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron. Amen.

Mardinia

Mardinia Found “A Way Out”

This precious woman developed a drug habit in high school. A long curvy road lead her to topless clubs and then to the streets of Memphis as a prostitute.

She called CCV to ask for help through the “A Way Out” Program. She came into the program for a short time and then slipped back to the streets and drugs. She called a second time for help and was told by Carol Wiley, the Director of Victim Assistance, that the only way she could re-enter the program was to first go into a residential program out of state, because she had too many street connections in Memphis. She agreed and CCV paid for the director to personally fly with Mardinia to Minnesota to place her in Teen Challenge. Carol, the mentors, and Mardinia’s friends in “A Way Out” kept close touch with her by letters and phone.

This past May, Carol, was privileged to travel back to Minnesota to watch Mardinia be graduated from Teen Challenge. Her changed life and graduation are truly miracles. She has been reunited with her mom, her dad and her children. She hadn’t seen or spoken to her dad in more than four years. Last, but certainly not least, while in Teen Challenge she became convicted that she was to go to Elim Bible College. She is now a student there and CCV is helping fund her tuition.

YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT CHANGES LIVES

Denise

Denise Found “A Way Out”

Denise states that she remembers her childhood as being basically happy growing up with her mom, step-dad, sister and brother until tragedy hit the family. Her step-father, who was the only dad she had really known, was killed in a boating accident.

This tragedy took it toll on the family as now Denise’s mom was faced with providing for the family alone. Denise remembers the day the police came and told her mom that her step-dad had drowned. Her mom fainted and this naturally scared fourteen year old Denise and left her very, very sad.

She recalls life with mom and her siblings as normal but remembers arguing with her brother and sister and at times even having physical fights. She remembers mom trying to provide everything they needed herself. She says, “My mom gave us the best of everything and over all I remember being happy.”

By the time Denise was sixteen years old her mom had begun to date and bring her boyfriends home to meet the kids. Denise also recalls being sixteen when she decided to take some of her mom’s pills that were left over from several operations. This is the first time she began experimenting with drugs. She says, “I started taking downers and then realized that I could sell them which started my experimenting selling of drugs. I then started mixing them with alcohol and I can remember riding around with my friends just getting wasted.” She reports eventually developing the habit of buying weed and pills to make her feel good and at age 18 starting to experiment with cocaine while still drinking, doing pills and smoking pot. Her habit got to be day and night…She was addicted which resulted in lost jobs, missed car payments, and an extreme shift in attitude. She and her mom began to quarrel because of her disrespectful attitude and unwillingness to listen to reason

Denise dated the same guy from age fifteen to age twenty and their relationship was filled with fussing and physical fights and multiple break-ups. At age twenty she met the man who is the father of her two children and they were together for about ten years. Their life was one of drugs, alcohol, and turmoil. They lived together until Denise was 34 and then decided to go their separate ways. They both lost custody of their children and he stopped using and went through rehab before Denise did and now has custody of their children.

Denise’s life continued to spiral downward as the drugs took their toll and she began to do whatever it took to keep her supply. This placed her in the position of being with very dangerous pimps, drug dealers, and abusive relationships and led her further and further away from the safety of family, friends, and her children. She lost everything and ended up in jail.

Denise was court ordered to Karat Place, a transitional home for ex-offenders. The director referred her to “A Way Out” and Carol met with her and she was accepted into the “A Way Out” program’s probationary period November 6, 2003 and was accepted into the program on January 6, 2004, when she was assigned to her mentor, Barbara Pope. Denise came into the program committed to change her life and she has faithfully followed every guideline in her admission contract. Just a few of her accomplishments are: she has kept her counseling appointments; attended growth group religiously where she has learned Scripture, relational skills, and is now working “AWO’s” twelve-step program. She has passed her drug screens; and has been able to work and save to purchase a new car while living at Karat Place and working the “AWO” program. She has been reunited with her children, who she had not seen in over a year, and she is in the process of being reunited with her mother and family. She will leave Karat Place this month, but will stay in “A Way Out” until she completes her program.

The most important thing is that she has received Christ as her Lord and Savior and is active in church. On the night she was baptized, her testimony was, “I have laid down an eighteen year drug habit to follow Jesus.” The congregation stood and cheered.

She states, “I have missed out on a lot of things, most of all my children and being their mother, being able to watch them grow as babies, but today I am happier than I have ever been. The only person I can give glory to is my higher power, whom I choose to call GOD!”