Saturday, April 30, 2005

Rita

Rita Found “A Way Out”

My name is Rita and I am twenty-four and I would like to share my story with you. I grew up in a family that I always thought was normal. I was twenty-three years old when I realized that they weren't. I was sexually abused as a child, with my earliest memory being age four. The abuse continued until I was eleven. I was made to adjust and I learned from my mom that sexual abuse was not a big deal. I carried that attitude with me for a long time.

I left home when I was seventeen and lived in programs like Job Corps and later shelters. I was doing drugs and therefore was unemployable. If I did get a job, I didn't keep it for long. I also lived with friends, boyfriends, and by the time I was twenty-one years old, I was pregnant.

At age twenty-two, I was a single mom and couldn't make it out on my own and now that I had a baby, it was really hard. I didn't want to be a mom and I sure didn't know how to be a mom. In fact I was an awful mother, I cared more about getting high and talking to guys.

My lifestyle was obvious to the pimps that lived in the Budget Suites Hotel where I was living after Abel was born. I now know different pimps and their hookers played on me to get me to choose a pimp by giving me many compliments, gifts, and anything I needed. The day I chose to be with a pimp, my son, Able, was five months old and he had to go to the hospital with pneumonia. My soon to be pimp went with me to the hospital, where he asked questions of the doctor about stuff I didn't know to ask.

The pimp's actions at the hospital seemed proof to me that he cared about me and my baby, so within a couple of days, with his encouragement, I got dressed, did a lot of speed and we drove to a street where a lot of hookers worked. I was really nervous and thought about how nothing was working right in my life. The pimp told me to get out of the car and call him when I turned my first date.

My first night I made $300.00, but it was the hardest night I would ever have, all the rest were somehow blocked out and not as difficult as that first night. I continued to be involved in prostitution for one more year. During this time, the abuse that my son and I went through was unreal. After one year, I was tired and considered all used up. My pimp had another "new" girl, so he began using my son to keep me with him. He would take Abel away from me for days, until he felt I acted right or until I made enough money. Sometimes he would take him away for no real reason, but to torture me.

The day I met Carol Wiley, I had experienced a really bad night and had been dropped off in Arkansas somewhere. I had to take a cab back to Memphis and because I only had $60.00 left my pimp would have nothing to do with me and wouldn't let me see my son. It was about 9:00 a.m. and I was standing by a pay phone outside a dry cleaners. A girl who worked there invited me in and offered me a drink of water. To my surprise she told me that she had been with a pimp for ten years and told me how she had been burned with an iron and other awful experiences she had experienced in the sex industry. As I listened, I thought I could easily waste my life and lose everything that I have in me to be a decent human being. Actually, this was the first time anyone had legitimately tried to help me. You see this girl was in CCV's A Way Out Program and knew Carol Wiley. She called Carol and asked her if she could come talk to me. Carol came right away and after talking with her, I wanted to leave with her right then, but my pimp had my son and I didn't want to leave without Abel. I went back to work and waited for him to bring Abel back, which he did three days later. This was my opportunity to leave so I called Carol and she came and got me and Abel and I have been with CCV every since February 19, 2002.

Carol helped place me in a long term Christian based residential program. I now love all the people in Moriah house, they are very special to me, but I didn't always feel this way. I had to reconstruct my life and let people tell me what to do and I had to deal with myself: I had to come off drugs: I couldn't have any male relationships; I had to learn to be a mother; I had to become responsible and accept structure; and I had to learn patience. All of this was very hard for me and one day after being a Moriah House for two weeks, I went to Mrs. Beverly's officer and said, "I'm leaving, tell Carol I couldn't do it." Mrs. Beverly asked where I was going and I told her I was going to catch a cab to find my pimp before he left the state. I know this sounds crazy, but I was in bondage to all that chaos. Mrs. Beverly told me a story about a frog. How if you have a frog in a pan full of water and slowly turn up the heat the frog will never jump out and will eventually die. But if you throw a frog into boiling water then it will jump out. I decided to stay.

I have consistent support from CCV and Moriah House, but there is no way I could made it without my Lord Jesus. He has carried me and released me from all that mess and chaos. He has saved me and He loves me. I have grown in the Lord through Bible studies and with the encouragement CCV has offered me. I am now in college studying graphic arts. My first semester my mentor got me a backpack full of school goodies and she helped me get registered. She took me to Bible study every Tuesday and to counseling on Wednesdays. My first semester in school was probably just as stressful for Carol as it was for me because she helped me write my papers and on short notice. This encouraging environment has grown me up. I will never be the same.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Paula

Paula Found “A Way Out”

My name is Paula. I worked in the topless night clubs for ten years of my life.

Ten years of misery and despair. I kept thinking that this is all I know how to do. I couldn’t possibly do any thing else. I began thinking…I’ll be in the club until I am fifty years old. Right then I started to pray and pray for six months. I began to feel this overwhelming feeling of being sorry for wasting all those years on foolishness and sin. I quit the club on June 15th, 1999 and never went back.

In May of this year I was at the library and on the way out at the library and on the way out, God said, pick up that Christian Banner Newspaper and I did. I opened it and read Carol Wiley’s article on page ten. “What Is Trauma? How Does It Affect One’s Life Choices?”

I ran to the McDonald’s pay phone to tell her how wonderful her article was and we talked for a while. She ended up treating me to lunch the next week. I started Bible Class that week and have enjoyed it so much. I’ve made life long friends there and I continue to read my Bible that “A Way Out” gave to me. I love God so much and Carol for truly helping me. If it weren’t for Carol I would not know God today.
I am so blessed.

My favorite scripture is Psalm 107: 14:15-16. “He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men. For he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron. Amen.

Mardinia

Mardinia Found “A Way Out”

This precious woman developed a drug habit in high school. A long curvy road lead her to topless clubs and then to the streets of Memphis as a prostitute.

She called CCV to ask for help through the “A Way Out” Program. She came into the program for a short time and then slipped back to the streets and drugs. She called a second time for help and was told by Carol Wiley, the Director of Victim Assistance, that the only way she could re-enter the program was to first go into a residential program out of state, because she had too many street connections in Memphis. She agreed and CCV paid for the director to personally fly with Mardinia to Minnesota to place her in Teen Challenge. Carol, the mentors, and Mardinia’s friends in “A Way Out” kept close touch with her by letters and phone.

This past May, Carol, was privileged to travel back to Minnesota to watch Mardinia be graduated from Teen Challenge. Her changed life and graduation are truly miracles. She has been reunited with her mom, her dad and her children. She hadn’t seen or spoken to her dad in more than four years. Last, but certainly not least, while in Teen Challenge she became convicted that she was to go to Elim Bible College. She is now a student there and CCV is helping fund her tuition.


YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT CHANGES LIVES

Denise

Denise Found “A Way Out”

Denise states that she remembers her childhood as being basically happy growing up with her mom, step-dad, sister and brother until tragedy hit the family. Her step-father, who was the only dad she had really known, was killed in a boating accident.

This tragedy took it toll on the family as now Denise’s mom was faced with providing for the family alone. Denise remembers the day the police came and told her mom that her step-dad had drowned. Her mom fainted and this naturally scared fourteen year old Denise and left her very, very sad.

She recalls life with mom and her siblings as normal but remembers arguing with her brother and sister and at times even having physical fights. She remembers mom trying to provide everything they needed herself. She says, “My mom gave us the best of everything and over all I remember being happy.”

By the time Denise was sixteen years old her mom had begun to date and bring her boyfriends home to meet the kids. Denise also recalls being sixteen when she decided to take some of her mom’s pills that were left over from several operations. This is the first time she began experimenting with drugs. She says, “I started taking downers and then realized that I could sell them which started my experimenting selling of drugs. I then started mixing them with alcohol and I can remember riding around with my friends just getting wasted.” She reports eventually developing the habit of buying weed and pills to make her feel good and at age 18 starting to experiment with cocaine while still drinking, doing pills and smoking pot. Her habit got to be day and night…She was addicted which resulted in lost jobs, missed car payments, and an extreme shift in attitude. She and her mom began to quarrel because of her disrespectful attitude and unwillingness to listen to reason

Denise dated the same guy from age fifteen to age twenty and their relationship was filled with fussing and physical fights and multiple break-ups. At age twenty she met the man who is the father of her two children and they were together for about ten years. Their life was one of drugs, alcohol, and turmoil. They lived together until Denise was 34 and then decided to go their separate ways. They both lost custody of their children and he stopped using and went through rehab before Denise did and now has custody of their children.

Denise’s life continued to spiral downward as the drugs took their toll and she began to do whatever it took to keep her supply. This placed her in the position of being with very dangerous pimps, drug dealers, and abusive relationships and led her further and further away from the safety of family, friends, and her children. She lost everything and ended up in jail.

Denise was court ordered to Karat Place, a transitional home for ex-offenders. The director referred her to “A Way Out” and Carol met with her and she was accepted into the “A Way Out” program’s probationary period November 6, 2003 and was accepted into the program on January 6, 2004, when she was assigned to her mentor, Barbara Pope. Denise came into the program committed to change her life and she has faithfully followed every guideline in her admission contract. Just a few of her accomplishments are: she has kept her counseling appointments; attended growth group religiously where she has learned Scripture, relational skills, and is now working “AWO’s” twelve-step program. She has passed her drug screens; and has been able to work and save to purchase a new car while living at Karat Place and working the “AWO” program. She has been reunited with her children, who she had not seen in over a year, and she is in the process of being reunited with her mother and family. She will leave Karat Place this month, but will stay in “A Way Out” until she completes her program.

The most important thing is that she has received Christ as her Lord and Savior and is active in church. On the night she was baptized, her testimony was, “I have laid down an eighteen year drug habit to follow Jesus.” The congregation stood and cheered.

She states, “I have missed out on a lot of things, most of all my children and being their mother, being able to watch them grow as babies, but today I am happier than I have ever been. The only person I can give glory to is my higher power, whom I choose to call GOD!”